Who Have I Been?

Who Have I Been?

Ok, here’s my life story.

Grew up in Northeast Connecticut, USA. Suburban place, near UCONN if you know that university. Had a pretty normal upbringing with its own ups and downs, but the one special part was my parents. While they are not perfect, they granted me what I think every child needs a bit more of: The freedom to ask.

I was always asking. If it wasn’t out loud, it was in my head. Why does that person smile like that? Why are they cool? What do I have to do to make this girl like me? That was from a very early age, probably around four. And what else happened at four years old? My arch nemesis came to me: School.

Through the social landscape of school, I found much trouble. I had no idea who I was, and through the gift of questioning I saw the different archetypes developing. It was almost as if I saw what everyone else was except myself. There were the sporty kids, the intellectuals, the popular kids, the ‘badass’ kids, and many other types. I found that I could connect with any of them – but yet again, could not really find out how to connect with myself.

This caused me to question my own existence in a more fundamental way, but it was still only a stepping stone compared to where I am today. The good part of this is that it gave me an identity: I rejected God, became atheist, and started to study the financial system (as I thought money would give me the freedom I desired). So in plain terms, I became the most stereotypical person. At that time, I truly wanted to be a powerful man in charge of the world, crafting it as I desired. Nothing would hold me back. However, I still maintained the one thing which saved me from that terrible vision; questioning.

I questioned the financial system because I wanted to get rich. But inadvertently, I opened the doors to a much more spectacular vison of what the world was, is, and could be. This was because of the way that money runs the world and funds everything that goes on. I started to piece together a puzzle, beginning with the powerful people at the top controlling industry, technology, war, politics, and virtually everything else.

I figured out pretty quickly that what I really wanted was to KNOW. To know everything. To know why I exist, to know what my purpose is, to know what it is like under the influence of this or that, to know what love is. Even to know what hate is. And in a more ‘pedestrian’ sense, to know history, to know the boring facts, and to tie all of this together in such a way that I will be UNIQUE. While it is, in and of itself, a very purposeful state to be in, it also became very intense and depressing at times. The stress I was putting on myself to become overshadowed the fact of my being.

So I began the work on the ‘being’ aspect of life. I have been practicing meditation (in various forms) for two years. Through meditation and other experiences, I have fully committed myself to the laws of the universe, which are much more than material and consist of psychic planes/different dimensions. After learning about all of this for about a year, I moved into alchemy and now I focus on sex transmutation through media as well as dream work.

Other than the energy work, I also have been studying the Gene Keys by Richard Rudd and the consequent Human Design theory. I believe these are very important tools in terms of finding out more about yourself. In order to sustain myself while gaining knowledge and ability, I trade options on the stock market. I now hope to move full-time into the energy work, as I know I have things to share that will bring light to places and people that need it.

The freedom for me to pursue this work has been granted by my graduation from college. If it means anything to you (it doesn’t to me), I graduated from Eastern Connecticut State University in May 2021 with a Bachelors in Economics and a Minor in Business Administration. My major GPA was a 4.0. No, I don’t plan to use this, but if it increases the possibility that you will listen to what I have to say, so be it.