Helping Others vs Helping Yourself

There are certain things in our world that are commonly glorified and others that are commonly looked down upon. To me, one of the sad things about our world is how taking care of ourselves and experimenting with our own truth is met by resistance from others when it doesn’t align with what they expect from us. And it isn’t just verbal or physical resistance – it is energetic resistance. A lot of resistance can be seen through the lens of what ISN’T said and what ISN’T done, but rather by what you feel. I speak this to myself as much as to everyone else – after all, our disregard of our emotions is a huge problem pushing us to rationalize things which are not good for us. Read this through your emotions and I think you will find much more wisdom in it.

A lot of good work can be done on yourself while ignoring what I will present today. After all, I ignored this concept for years but still advanced myself in many ways and have seen others do the same. However I now realize that this ignorance has been the prime cause of my inability to keep moving forward in other ways, sort of like a Jenga tower that gets higher and higher and the missing block gets more and more stressed until it collapses.

It is the energy surrounding our concept of loyalty. Let’s say you have a friend/significant other you have known for many years. You love them. You share advice, jokes, time, and other things. Most of the time when such relationships run their course and the necessary end is near, I see a strong resistance towards doing what needs to be done – moving on from that person or relationship, accepting what it taught you, and allowing the next growth to come into a person’s life. People will sit in these situations for years and not do anything about it (This is especially true for energetic vampires who feed on the life force of someone who loves them and who wants to help them, somewhat ironically as the most helpful thing to do would be to help themselves by cutting that person out, thus forcing the other person to grow in their own way).

We must be totally honest with ourselves about what the relationship dynamics are. Are you dealing with an energetic vampire? You know deep down the truth about the dynamics – you simply need to search for it. Where are you trying to go in life? What actions have you taken to get there? Then ask, is this person trying to join me on this path, or are they resisting it at all costs and trying to keep me where they are for the comfort of that ‘stability’? Chances are that if you have high aspirations and have been working towards those (be it spiritual, financial, social, artistically, or all of the above), you are going to have people around you that do not want you to leave their own matrix (and consequently, there is a part of you that doesn’t want to leave that matrix either). They want to keep you distracted. Maybe doing drugs, getting into drama, talking about meaningless subjects, playing meaningless video games, and other things are a part of this mediocrity that they love to hate. And remember – they will probably never admit to this! After all, if they admitted to it they would be forced to start transcending it and many cannot bear to see that darkness within themselves.

In truth, we perpetuate all of those dynamics by participating in them – so it is up to us to give others the opportunity to transcend them WITH you, or WITHOUT you. Their choice. And YOU get to decide whether their methods work for you. Don’t wait.

We know that certain people are not good for us, but we keep making excuses; I love them, I want to help them, they need me, I would be an asshole if I cut them off, I do enjoy my time with them in some ways, I need social interaction, maybe they will change, what will I do, how will I find new friends, what will I do with my time… And these excuses are drilled into our psyche at a very deep level. This is the prime focus. While certainly multifaceted, in my opinion a major source of this is our evolutionary history. Often in the past, to break stride with your tribe was to die. You really did need them. But we are continuing to evolve as humans. We can connect in a vast amount of ways and don’t need to accept limitations that were experienced in our genetic history. Rather, we can now go search for whatever we need to complete the puzzle.

You have given them every opportunity at this point. The divergence becomes clearer by the day. What you need is not to keep wading in this still pool with no movement; you need to turn on the jets. It isn’t that you don’t love them; we need universal love. You just don’t owe them anything. You owe it to yourself.

As a 3rd line in human design, it is in my design to experiment in all forms of life – relationships, diet, exercise, work, play, etc. This area of ‘loyalty’ is one of the last things I chose to deal with due to the pressure I felt against any concept of letting go of people, especially friends. And I don’t say this to blame society – it is our own responsibility to do what we need to do. The harder it is, the more you will learn once the shadow has been transcended. I say this to hopefully allow you to more clearly identify where you are encountering resistance in your life and thus transcend it.



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